I myself am a recovering addict I have been clean for 7yrs now. It is definitely a struggle but working out is definitely a reason that I have stayed clean with others also I changed my thinking about my body and I really enjoy looking good and I know that there is no chance of that happening if I were to use opiates. I definitely wish you the best with your recovery.
I myself have problems with cutting. The diet part is hard for me not eating clean but actually eating less. I enjoy bulking eating like a monstar.
I believe that I might not ever get rock solid abs but I will have a shaped stomach at around 12% is where I feel comfortable.
We have a good group of verified src here at ugm gearbankintl is a great src with great prices we also have diamondpharm and Kodiakqueen which all 3 are domestic and have solid gear. You can look them up in the verified srcs category. I would recommend contacting them and they are good people they won't have a problem helping you out with anything.
I would definitely be careful running cycles because of the use of needles it causes alot of relapses. When that happens almost every time you will lose your gains.
If you have any questions fire away i enjoy helping guys plan out a solid cycle that will help you reach your goals.
Proviron is something I would recommend to everyone to use in there cycles. The benefit to risk is what makes it truly one of the best compounds. Its also somewhat inexpensive so you get your money's worth from it.
I would though stay away from tren it shuts you down extremely hard so your pct will take longer and then you will feel like shit and we both know guys like us don't like to feel like shit.
Stick with a test e cycle add some Proviron and maybe an oral like tbol. This cycle will be easier to come back from and will give you amazing gains. Its really all about the diet you eat while on cycle that really determinesthe gains you make. What you put in your body meaning protien carbs and fats determineshow your body will grow and how much. Sleep is also a huge factor in how much you will grow on cycle.
Good luck and good gains brother
Hit me up anytime